Keeping a Journal: "Journaling"

By Barbara Gould

Down through history people have journaled. Good thing! If it weren't for this there might not be any reliable records of the past. I, myself, am not a historian but I have made a pretense at journaling for many years. I say 'made a pretense', as I would start at the first of the year and do fairly until the next month or the next week and then there would be gaps you could pitch a cow through. Spasmodic journals are all over in my files.

My mother kept a journal. Now, she was more dedicated that myself, and I have hers on hand also. I am glad to have them and do read them, though the mood must be right. My mom was also a writer and she could wring me out in three lines. I feel certain she wrote in total honesty. I find, even in my journals, I write, not for myself but in case someone else would read them. You know, don't hurt anyone's feelings and don't expose yourself to the bone.

In fact I am in the midst of what I call "the manuscript"! It is the story of who I am and why; mainly to get down interesting little stories and poetry that I have written for years. The purpose being to enlighten my children and grandchildren to just who I am and what caused me to be this way.

Recently I had a Creative Writing teacher tell me to write for myself, not for anyone else. "Write it for yourself.!" As I stated before, it is hard to bare yourself to the bone for anyone.

But an ordinary, or even not so ordinary, journal can become a valued gift to those who love you and want to know all they can about you just because you are you.

During my days as Senior Companion I was paired up with a man who had cowboy'd for a large ranch in this area for forty years. He had mentioned wanting to write a book so the program station supervisor assigned me to be his companion. He told wonderful stories of the past in the area just in the course of conversation but he was not ready to have it recorded. He would talk about it then say, "We'll get around to it one of these days." He was not ready to let me use a small recorder either, so, sadly the stories were lost when he died.

One of my other companions who I became very close to showed me her journals from time to time. She began back in the years of being a young wife and mother on a ranch. She kept them, not in a fancy little diary but in ledgers, little or even big spirals, anything that she could write in suited her just fine. She had a lot of them and still keeps a daily notebook of what ever happens every day.

I was so impressed with hers! She had glued, pasted, taped in newspaper and magazine articles and pictures that either pertained to her family or just interested her. She saved postage stamps, stickers, cards of every size, style and shape, letters, cartoons, poetry and her own personal entries.

What a wonderful legacy for her family to have; when she is gone, to be able to go back and learn even more about her life from the time she was very young. She and I spent time looking at many of them pondering as to how she ever found the time to be so thorough. Raising a family and serving as a helpmate on a dry land farm in southwestern Montana back in the days of hauling water, cooking on a wood range, baking bread, doing laundry in an old wringer washing machine. Also they raised a vegetable garden and grew beautiful flowers. Canned and made preserves sewed for her daughters. The twelve mile trip to town was in a horse drawn wagon, an all day trip, and not often.

Still she journaled religiously!

I purchased some of those smaller, spiral, 150 page, 9 by 6.5 lined three subject notebooks and I have been real dedicated for nearly a year now. As a girl I remember using the little locking five year diaries that were sold everywhere. Good grief!!!!! About all you could squeeze in on any indicated day would be brief beyond belief! My Mom had some larger, really nice diaries that she used from time to time; she also was fortunate in being able to obtain a rather nice little notebook the first of each year from her auto insurance company. I have some of those also.

The thing is, it is not only important to you for your own thoughts, it can help you to keep track of what you did and when. Most of us cannot remember things like when the washer had to be repaired, when you had your last tetanus shot, the last time you heard from cousin Roger! If you put a beginning and ending date right on the cover, just like you do on each check record section that you carry within your check book, you will find it easier to locate things.

The therapy factor also plays a part here. If you are hurt or angry, maybe feeling a bit emotional from time to time you can also vent this in your journal and you know, I find that this also takes away the rough edge and shows me that "this too will pass." It is a healthy, beneficial habit to get into.

I mentioned once in a class something about burning my journals and my Writing Prof. about had a fit. "Don't ever do it!" Your first thoughts and your journal thoughts are priceless, the best thought process to begin with and even use in your writing!"

I still have them, but must admit, I also toy with the idea of having a burning ceremony!

Barbara Gould writes articles, basic topic being aging, short-short filler paragraphs, s poetry and short stories. She self-published a poetry book in 1996, has been published in various other areas including a weekly column. She had a career in Early Childhood Education and Development; worked in a private home as a Nanny then volunteered for five years for the Senior Companion Program. She officially retired earlier this year. http://geocitites.com/mtnmagpie/index.html Aging Gracefully